Watch your back, Bachelor producers: Netflix’s Love Is Blind is back. Season 3 of the juicy and addictive show follows men and women from Dallas, Texas as they go on a series of blind dates in hopes of finding the one. Will they fall in love and get engaged without ever seeing each other? That’s exactly the question viewers tune in to find out. But after watching, if you, like us, have even MORE questions, we feel you. Here are all the rules the cast has to follow during the experiment.
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The singles can’t see each other…
The biggest rule of the show is that the cast members can’t see who they’re dating. How does this work? The creators designed pods that separate the men and women by glowing walls.
Since, you know, the men and women aren’t in the same room together, they can’t touch the person they’re dating. No hand holding. No kissing. No hugging. You get the picture.
They only get to meet AFTER getting engaged.
Couples enter the pods and spill their hearts out to one another. After—and only after—they’re engaged are the couples allowed to meet face-to-face for the first time.
The men and women date for 10 days.
The experiment is broken down into three different sections, starting with the dating period, which lasts 10 days. After getting engaged, couples go to paradise for a week to build their ~physical~ connection. For the last few weeks, they live together in the real world while planning their weddings.
But no one HAS to get engaged.
Creator Chris Coelen (who’s also the mastermind behind Married at First Sight) said it was scary as a producer, because no one’s required to get engaged or married. “[On] a show like we do Married at First Sight, you sign up and you know, you’re getting married to a stranger. Here, nobody had to do anything. It was if you find someone, if you choose. Which is so scary. They don’t have to go through with the wedding ceremony,” he told Variety.
Producers arrange the first pod dates.
It starts with speed dating. Cast members spend 8-10 minutes with each person of the opposite sex, Coelen told E! News: “In the beginning, just from a practical standpoint, we have to give them certain time limits just so we can them through and they have a chance to talk to everyone…where they just got to know each other.”
Male and female cast members have to live separately.
Since singles aren’t allowed see each other before getting engaged, the male and female cast members live in separate areas and have a different team of producers, too.
The experience is like living in a fraternity or sorority house.
“Life at the facility felt like a sorority,” season 1 cast member Lauren Speed told OprahDaily.com. “You’d think that people would be catty because some people would like the same guy. But we actually formed a sisterhood, no lie.” Season 1 cast member Kenny Barnes told Refinery29 the guys did plank competitions, cooked together, went for runs, and more.
Not only did the men and women bring notebooks into the pods with them to keep all of the people they were dating straight, but season 1 cast member Jessica Batten told Refinery29 she wrote outside of the pods too: “I did a lot of journaling. I wanted to remember things because every day is like a month in there and so much can change.”
Sleeping arrangements are less than ideal.
“We slept in trailers and they were correctional facility beds. The design was to just strip us down from our comfort level,” Kenny told Refinery29. Oh, and they only bank about four hours of sleep a night.
Cast members can visit the pods at any time.
Some men and women visit each other multiple times a day, because “the more they got in there, the more they have these conversations! Deep conversations that they never had with family members or friends or people they’ve dated,” Coelen told Variety.
And they can stay in the pods for as long as they want.
Coelen told Variety that the longest pod session on season 1 was around four to five hours—and that was only cut short by a pesky bathroom break. “They were there pretty much 24-7. It’s funny because we would encourage them to take [breaks], ‘You gotta eat! You gotta get some sleep!’ But they didn’t want to, they wanted to stay in those pods,” he said.
All of the cast members’ devices are confiscated while they’re dating in the pods, so that they can focus all of their attention on their dates—and can’t communicate with people outside of the experiment.
“We tried to allow them to do anything they could do on a date, without seeing or touching one another or staring at screens,” Coelen told Bustle. “So if they wanted to read, we’d certainly allow it, if we could find the book for them.” Interesting!
Don’t be afraid to get deep.
It’s a vulnerable experience falling in love, especially on TV, so cast members help each other process their emotions. “Some took longer than others, but every man there went through this ‘vulnerability express’—this transformation. You had to go through it. There was such a big support when you saw someone fighting the experience. We were like, ‘Listen man, what’s up. Let’s talk about this,'” season 1 cast member Mark Cuevas told OprahDaily.com.
Don’t worry: The pods are soundproof.
No distractions leads to better dates! “We didn’t want any sound to bleed through any other pods,” Coelen told Variety. “We basically had a small speaker in the front wall and you would hear the other person who was in the other pod. There’s no producers in there, there’s nobody else. It’s just you and the other person. That’s it.”
Nick and Vanessa Lachey aren’t allowed to interfere.
As hosts, Nick and Vanessa spend countless hours discussing each cast member’s relationship with one another. But as hard as it may be, they aren’t allowed to give advice that’d sway the cast based on their knowledge of the other singles.
Producers can’t interfere either.
The whole purpose of the show is for the singles to form strong emotional bonds, so the producers are there to help cast members plan special aspects of each date without impacting the outcome. “We wanted them to make the decisions and them to control their destiny,” Coelen told OprahDaily.com.
Producers don’t coach the conversations.
The cast has to figure out what they want to talk about on their own. “They were never interrupted in terms of like a producer saying, ‘Hey, talk about this, talk about that,’ they just did what they wanted to do,” Coelen told Variety.
The singles ARE allowed to describe how they look.
But it’s not encouraged! Season 2 cast member Abhishek “Shake” Chatterjee made waves when he tried to get his dates to describe their appearances.
Snack requests can be made.
The producers tried to make the cast members as comfortable as possible, and would pick up food for the singles. “We could request stuff. If you wanted a special snack they’d go run and get it. Bailey’s and coffee was my go-to,” Kenny told Refinery29.
Alcohol is also provided.
From wine to vodka, there aren’t restrictions on what the cast members are allowed to drink. Hey, have you ever been on a sober blind date? They’re stressful!
The singles can use their pod time however they want.
Even catching up on sleep! “If we were with someone and the connection wasn’t quite romantic but you still have three hours, we would take naps,” Lauren told Glamour. “We would be like, ‘Let’s take a date nap. Just do that. Let’s rest up because we know that there’s no romance here.'”
Talking about other people on dates is allowed.
Other cast members use their time to vent about the person they’re interested in. “We ended up finding creative ways to turn that into sessions. I would sit and talk to the girls that I wasn’t interested in about [Diamond] and try to reassure myself I’m making the right decision,” season 1 cast member Carlton Morton told Refinery29.
Prepare for things to feel a little awkward at first.
Since it’s not your typical way of dating, the first few conversations might feel strange. “Oh man, it was uncomfortable for a little bit,” Jessica told Refinery29. “After a couple of days in there and after you’ve asked a certain amount of questions, you’re kind of like, All right, here we go. What’s the next set of questions?” Mark Anthony Cuevas added.
Activities are encouraged.
The men and women are encouraged to create dates they’d go on in the real world. “They’d say, ‘I’d love to have a dinner of lasagna with this person.’ So, we’d get them some lasagna!” Coelen told OprahDaily.com. Others played games or serenaded their date with the ukulele.
If a cast member doesn’t connect with anyone, they’re asked to leave.
The show starts with between 40-50 cast members. “It became evident as the process went on, from that big group of people, that there were some people that more people were gravitating towards then others,” Coelen told E! News of season 1. “There was a certain point where we did a whittling down of people just to focus internally on the people who were really connecting, to allow them more time. We ended up having maybe 20-25 people in the pods at that point.”
Proposals can happen at any time.
Before the first 10 days are up, some couples know they’ve found the one and don’t need more time. At that point, cast members can propose and then they get to see their betrothed the next day.
Physical connections are tested too.
After matching up in the pod, the couples are sent away on an exotic vacation, so that they can try to match their physical connection to their emotional one.
Couples can’t tell their families they’re engaged.
Until after their honeymoon, that is. In the age of Instagram engagement announcements, it’s counterintuitive not to share such big news right away. But given the show’s no phones policy, the cast can’t fill their families in until they return home after phase two of the experiment.
The singles have to live in the same city.
All of the cast members in season 1 were cast from Atlanta, where the show was filmed. “It’s too difficult if you’re from Tampa and they’re from Portland, that just throws another wrench in. We wanted to give them a real shot at making their love and their marriage work,” Coelen told Variety. Season 2 was filmed in Chicago and season 3 was in Dallas.
Post-paradise, they don’t go back home.
Instead of moving into the spaces each person lived in before the show, the couples move into a “neutral ground” apartment that’s provided by the show so that they can have a fresh start while planning their wedding.
Couples have to make their *final* decision at the wedding.
After the couples return home, wedding planning commences and cast members return to work. At the wedding, they’ll either say “I do” or “I don’t.”
It’s up to the cast what they tell their families.
“The premise of the show was not a secret, but as adults it was up to them as to when (or whether) they chose to tell their families,” Coelen told Bustle. Either way, after the honeymoon the couples introduce their families to one another—and some are more open to the experiment than others.
The show is picky with casting.
The producers want to make sure they cast people who genuinely want long-term relationships. “There’s a lot of good shows out there where people can find love, but it’s not really that serious. We wanted people who are genuine about it,” Coelen told Variety. However, the show’s faced criticism for not straying from attractive, slim-figured individuals.
Couples have to hide their relationship status after the show.
Even though the first season dropped on Netflix in February 2020, it was filmed in 2018. Which means the cast members who found love on the show had to keep their relationship status a secret for over a year!
Breakups have to be kept a secret, too.
Not every couple has a happily ever after. But even cast members who don’t say “I do” have to wait after filming to move on publicly.
Not every engaged couple is shown on the show.
Eight couples got engaged on season 1, but two didn’t make the final cut. “Originally, we wanted to follow five couples if we had the chance to do that, we ended up following six,” Coelen told E! News. “We felt like we wanted to tell diverse stories frankly. We weren’t sure where the stories were going to go, everybody felt like they truly found the person they wanted to spend their life with and we had an abundance of story…we just didn’t have time in the show to follow them, which is incredible to me.” One of the couples not shown? Danielle Drouin and Rory Newbrough.
The show pays for PART of the weddings.
“Of course production supplies some of the basics but because these are their real weddings, it’s up to them as to how to spend their money,” Coelen told Bustle.
The marriages are legally binding.
“If they choose to get married, yes, it’s a legally binding marriage,” Coelen confirmed to Bustle. Hence why it’s such a big decision for the couples!
Since the marriages are binding, if a couple breaks up, they must go through the legal separation process. In September 2022, season 2 star Iyanna McNeely filed for divorce from husband Jarrette Jones.
Fellow cast members can date after filming wraps.
If one relationship doesn’t work, the cast is free to reach out to the other men or women they dated in the pods. After season 2’s Deepti Vempati and Kyle Abrams had their hearts broken by other people on the show, they fell for one another.
Even if unexpected cast members couple up off camera, they aren’t allowed to go public until the entirety of the show airs on Netflix. “We couldn’t share these memories over the past year so sharing them now,” Deepti posted on Instagram, while announcing her and Kyle’s split.
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