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I Ate the Entire Popeyes Five Nights at Freddys 2 Menu


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Now I truly understand the horror of fighting an animatronic bear.n

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TheFive Nights at Freddy’sfranchise is set in a haunted pizzeria and arcade, where the sins of the pastreturn in the form of creepy animatronics possessed by the spirits of murdered children —sort of likewhatmanifests insidea man’s stomach a few hours afterhe consumesan entire promotional tie-in menu for a blockbuster movie.Said man (i.e. me)committed a grievous error, and now they must pay for it.

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Precisely how much he (I) will pay is what he (I) am here to find out. Today I’m at my local Popeyes, the beloved chicken chain that has, somewhat counterintuitively, partnered withFive Nights at Freddy’s 2 for what they are calling “The Freddy Fazbear Crunch Menu.” Why acrunch menu? I don’t know. All I know for certain is I am about to undertake the culinary equivalent of ananimatronic robot attack.

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(Also: Did you know it’s spelled “Popeyes” and not “Popeye’s”? I did not. No possessive!Popeyes welcomesall Popeyes, whetherthey are a sailor man or a no-nonsense New York detective.)

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TheFive Nights at Freddy’s 2 menu contains a special limited-time varietal of Popeyes’ chicken tenders coated in a “savory garlic parmesan rub” as well as “garlic crusted” cheese curds. (Haunted animatronicsare famously partial to garlic.) They’ve also got a special dessert called a “cupcake cup,” which feels like one of the moreredundantly named food items I have ever encountered during my travels through the world of movie tie-in food.

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Nonetheless, Iateit and everything else on this Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 menu. Here are my findings.

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In honor of Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, Popeyes has haunted animatronic chicken. Let’s dig in.

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You can get the various elements of the Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 menu a la carte, but if you just want to be like me (and who doesn’t?), you can all of it at once in the “Freddy Fazbear Box.” It contains…

“3 pieces of Popeyes classic or spicy mouthwatering chicken tenders topped with a savory garlic parmesan rub, served with warm, garlic crusted Cheesy Bites and a marinara dipping sauce.” (It also contains, per Popeyes’ website, 1010 calories.)

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READ MORE: The Craziest Fast Food Menu Items Ever

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Wendy’s is offering a “Meal of Misfortune” in honor of Wednesday Season 2, which includes four different mystery sauces. Let’s eat it.

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The centerpiece of the “Meal of Misfortune” is not necessarily the Nuggets — which are Wendy’s standard offering in a special box (or their spicy nuggs, which are also available) — but the accompanying and unmarked “Dips of Dread.” None of the four options are labeled, so you have no idea what flavor you’ll get until you take your first dunk.

Wendy’s official description:

Speaking of misfortune… no one will escape the Dips of Dread unscathed. With two mystery dipping sauces in each meal, only fate will decide which of the four dips – You Can’t Hyde, This Will Sting, Grave Mistake or Nowhere to Woe – accompany each order. Don’t bother asking which sauce you’ll get – you must surrender to your destiny. Those brave enough to try them all must endure multiple visits. (430 calories for a 10-piece nuggets sans dread sauce)

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