Interview with Abdullah Boulad, Author of Be Human First – NewInBooks

What’s the story behind the story? What inspired you to write this book?

The story behind Be Human First is deeply personal. I did not sit down one day with the plan to write a book about communication. In fact, for many years, I believed I already understood communication very well. In my late twenties, I was leading a venture capital firm in Zurich. The world I worked in rewarded clarity, speed, and confidence. I knew how to negotiate, how to read a room, and how to move conversations toward a result. At the time, I thought that was what good communication meant. But something happened that forced me to look at myself differently. One day, while I was away, I received a handwritten letter from my best friend and business partner. In the letter, he explained why he could no longer stay in the company. It was not written in anger. It was written honestly. He described how the way I communicated and led, even though I believed I was being clear and effective, often made people feel pressured, unheard, or emotionally distant. Soon after, he left the company.

My brother left as well. At first, my instinct was to defend myself. I wanted to prove that my intentions had always been good. But underneath that reaction, a deeper question began to grow: How was I actually showing up in the lives of the people around me? There was another moment that stayed with me. I was standing in an elevator with my wife and spoke to her in the same direct, efficient tone I often used at work. She looked at me calmly and said, “Don’t talk to me like you’re talking to an employee.” That sentence hit me in a way I did not expect. I realized that somewhere along the way, I had started communicating with people through roles — employee, colleague, investor — instead of meeting them as human beings. That realization became the seed for this book.

Over time, I began studying communication more deeply: psychology, trauma, neuroscience, and what actually happens inside us during difficult conversations. I came to understand that communication is not mainly about choosing the right words. It is about nervous systems, safety, power, and presence. It is about whether the person in front of you feels met or managed. Be Human First grew out of that journey. I attempt to explore what lies beneath our conversations, especially in moments where the stakes are high, emotions are strong, and relationships matter. More than anything, this book was written from a simple insight: before we are leaders, partners, colleagues, or parents, we are human beings. And communication works best when we remember that.

If you had to pick theme songs for the main characters of your book, what would they be?

That’s a fun question. My book doesn’t really have “characters” in the traditional sense, but if I imagine the different voices or states of mind that appear throughout the book, a few songs come to mind. For the version of me that believed communication was about control, precision, and outcomes, I’d probably choose “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. It captures that mindset of certainty and determination.

For the moment of self-reflection and disruption, when I started questioning how I showed up in relationships, “Fix You” by Coldplay feels fitting. It carries the sense of realizing something inside needs attention and repair. For the deeper message of the book, meeting people as human beings first, with presence and humility, I would choose “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man. The line “I’m only human after all” captures the spirit of the book.

What’s your favorite genre to read? Is it the same as your favorite genre to write?

I’ve always been drawn to books that explore psychology, human behavior, and personal transformation. I’m fascinated by what happens beneath the surface of our decisions. So naturally, I tend to read a lot of psychology, neuroscience, and reflective nonfiction. That’s also the space I tend to write in. My first book, Living a Life in Balance, already explored questions around personal growth, well-being, and how we create a healthier relationship with ourselves and the world around us. Writing that book made me realize how powerful reflection and self-awareness can be.

Be Human First continues that journey, but with a deeper focus on communication, especially in moments where pressure, emotion, and relationships intersect. So in many ways, the genre I love reading is the same one I love writing: books that invite us to pause, reflect, and understand ourselves and others a little better.

What books are on your TBR pile right now?

Right now, my TBR pile includes a mix of psychology, neuroscience, and reflective nonfiction. Books by authors like Gabor Maté, Daniel Siegel, and Stephen Porges are always close to the top of the list because their work explores the connection between the nervous system, trauma, and human relationships.

I’m also drawn to books that sit at the intersection of science and philosophy, works that ask bigger questions about meaning, identity, and how we live with each other in an increasingly complex world.

What scene in your book was your favorite to write?

One of the moments that stayed with me the most while writing the book was the story about receiving the handwritten letter from my best friend and business partner. Writing that scene forced me to revisit a difficult period in my life, when I was confronted with the possibility that the way I communicated and led had unintentionally hurt people close to me. At the time, my first reaction had been defensiveness. But while writing the book, I could look at that moment with more honesty and perspective. It became clear to me that this letter was not just criticism; it was a mirror. In many ways, writing that scene was both the hardest and the most meaningful part of the book, because it reminded me why the message of Be Human First matters so much.

Do you have any quirky writing habits? (lucky mugs, cats on laps, etc.)

I wouldn’t say I have many writing rituals, but I do notice a few patterns. I tend to write best very early in the morning or late at night, when the world is quieter, and there’s a bit more space to think without interruption.

Do you have a motto, quote or philosophy you live by?

One philosophy that has become increasingly important in my life is very simple: be human first. Before roles, before titles, before outcomes. For a long time, I believed success in communication meant being clear, efficient, and persuasive. Over time, I learned that what people remember most is not how precise your words were, but how they felt in your presence. So if I had to express the philosophy I try to live by, it would be this: create enough safety in a conversation so that truth can enter it.

If you could choose one thing for readers to remember after reading your book, what would it be?

Before trying to win an argument, persuade someone, or prove a point, pause and ask yourself a simpler question: Does the person in front of me feel met as a human being?

Because when we remember to be human first, the quality of every conversation changes.