Eat BBQ Right Now Inside the Real ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’

The 4th of July conjures up images of fireworks, cookouts, and large amounts of explosives being handled by drunk fathers. For some people, this also means screaming bald eagles and unbridled patriotism.

Personally, the 4th of July has always meant one thing, terrible horror films loosely based around the holiday. If you also enjoy spending this summer holiday watching twenty-somethings try to outrun undead presidents, then this list is for you.

The Evil in Us

The Evil in Us Movie Poster

I could fill a book with all the things this movie tries to be, unfortunately, it fails at most of them. It feels like The Evil in Us had four different scripts crammed together at the last minute.

Equal parts Cabin Fever and The Crazies, this film never truly finds its footing. This by no means makes it unwatchable. The unorganized flow of the film makes for an enjoyable watch as you try and fail to guess the plotline.

Starring Debs Howard (iZombie), Danny Zaporozan (The Killing), and Behtash Fazlali (Wired Shut). If you are looking for something original to watch this 4th of July, go check out The Evil in Us.

Uncle Sam

Uncle Sam Movie Poster

This film is brought to us by the master of schlock himself, Larry Cohen (Maniac Cop). There’s a part of me that truly misses these types of films. The movie raises a cop, soldier, or president from the dead for mainly unexplained reasons, with the sole purpose of killing teenagers.

Does it break the mold? No, but that’s not what it’s for. Uncle Sam is made for people to eat popcorn and laugh at how ridiculous the storyline is. There’s something admirable about a film that knows what it is and doesn’t try to hide it.

Starring William Smith (Red Dawn), David Fralick (Inferno), and Christopher Ogden (SLC Punk). If you are looking for a good laugh this 4th of July, check out Uncle Sam.

2001 Maniacs

2001 Maniacs Movie Poster

Ok, this film has nothing to do with the 4th of July. However, it captures the true spirit of what these movies aim to be. 2001 Maniacs is overflowing with camp, gore, and Sothern hospitality.

It is criminal how undervalued this film is. It features the on-screen reunion of Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street) and Lin Shaye (Dead End). If that doesn’t do it for you, how about cameos from both Eli Roth (Cabin Fever) and Peter Stormare (Fargo).

2001 Maniacs not only has some major horror alumni in it, but it’s also an all-around fun film to watch. If you can get past the problematic elements and want to see Robert Englund play a racist southern governor, go watch 2001 Maniacs.

Re-Elected

Re-Elected Movie Poster

This film has everything, terrible college humor, re-animated presidents, and a cabin in the woods. Re-Elected features a zombie George Washington wielding an ax, what more could a genre fan ask for?

I went into this film with zero expectations and came out the other side a changed man. Re-elected is by far my favorite 4th of July-themed film on this list, and has been added to my yearly watch list.

This film may not be for everyone, the humor is dry, and the camera work is all over the place. That being said, it’s a really fun ride that doesn’t take itself seriously. If you want a new spin on the holiday horror, check out Re-Elected.

Jaws

Jaws Movie Poster

You knew this was coming right? I try to fill these lists with some of the lesser-known films I can find. But this is a 4th of July list, it would be blasphemous to not include Jaws. Without Jaws, we wouldn’t have things like shark week or even worse Sharknado.

If for some reason you haven’t seen this classic, do so now. Even if it’s only to supplement your horror information database, it’s worth the time. Jaws is the classic tale of a killer shark interfering with profit margins.

Say what you will about Steven Spielberg, but his dream machines have kept people afraid of sharks for almost 50 years. If you want to spend the 4th of July enjoying a classic, go watch Jaws.

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