Puppet announces new content for kids

As the next logical step in his long career as a puppet, Ben Shapiro has unveiled plans to make content for children.

The co-founder of conservative ‘news’ outlet The Daily Wire has announced Daily Wire Kids, which will offer children’s programming with a right-wing message. You might even call it propaganda, though the word seems to have lost all meaning with Shapiro constantly hurling it in the direction of media, Democratic politicians, and Disney.

In an episode of The Ben Shapiro Show from earlier this month called “The Democratic Propaganda Media Come for the Children,” the host discussed Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay,” bill, and suggested anyone horrified by this bigoted and regressive legislation must have sexual designs on children.

He hit on those same themes again last week, mocking Disney CEO Bob Chapek as “an abject coward” for this opposition to the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. He said, “If you want entertainment that’s going to cater to your children, we’re going to start making kids content over here at Daily Wire specifically. So you don’t have to be catered to by companies who hate your guts and cater to the people who despise your values.”

Think of it as a safe space for those tired of pretending that gays are people, too. Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boreing pledged $100 million to launch the new venture while explaining it thus: “Americans are tired of giving their money to woke corporations who hate them. They’re tired of giving their money to woke media companies who want to indoctrinate their children with radical race and gender theory. But they want to do more than just cancel them. They want alternatives. The Daily Wire is giving them those alternatives.”

Expect Daily Wire Kids to espouse the values that The Daily Wire is known for. Perhaps we can look forward to programming like Q’s Clues, wherein an intrepid dog named Q finds The Truth on an internet message board; Dora the Explorer at the Border, in which kind American soldiers permanently separate Dora from her parents; Cocofelon, following a teacher who is arrested for accidentally mentioning his husband; and Paw Patrol, unaltered.

Whatever it looks like, here’s hoping it’s more deft than most of Shapiro’s cultural takes. In 2020 he got extremely hot and bothered about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s hit “WAP,” and earlier this month he tried to insult President Joe Biden by calling him “the Kurt Cobain of politics.”

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